Congrats to 星星 for his much-deserved good grades for his Masters!!

To 星星: You’ve really done well! Your efforts have paid off!!! Really happy for you… I guess happiness is contagious!

Thinking back to those days when he was preparing for the exams… Haiz… Those were tough days manz! Both for him and for myself.

Why do I say that?

Let me start from the blog entry that didn’t materialise:

为你我受冷风吹

It all began on the first day of 星星’s study break. He had taken 1 week of study leave from work to stay home and revise for his exams. It’s been quite awhile, details are abit hazy. But I remember that I didn’t hear from him for 3 days straight. (or was it 2, LOL) It seemed like eternity because we were only a few months old. (I mean the relationship was a few months old) We had spent the previous few months with our hips stuck together, figuratively speaking of course.

The sudden cut off in communications threw me off. I was expecting to at least see him on gmail chat/MSN, or talk on the phone for 10 min. But there was NOTHING! Zilch! Naught! Zero! It was like he literally dropped off from the face of earth. The sense of abandonment was acute.

I tried calling, but no response… SMS also no reply…

I was soooo used to having 星星 around that I suddenly found myself having alot of free time on my hand. And that’s not good at all! Cos I knew that my imagination would go into overdrive. (He doesn’t love me anymore. He finds me too “sticky”. He’s bored with me.)

My usual way of handling this sort of situation would be to occupy my free time and make sure that I don’t have so much time to think too much. But the whole situation happened so fast that I didn’t have time to jio friends/organise activities during this period. But luckily, I happened to see Russell-my foul-mouthed friend on MSN and confided in him. We went for tea and it was such a relief to be able to air my “grievances”. (Thanks yo! You’re the man, Russell)

Eventually, 星星 did manage to meet me for dinner that weekend. But I didn’t reveal my frustrations to him since I didn’t want him to lose focus. That was the first time I was seriously pissed at him… It was not easy to keep my emotions in check but luckily there was no outburst.

As 星星’s girlfriend, I felt bad that I couldn’t do anything to help relieve his stress or to help him in his revision. So I decided to give him a surprise “Exam Goodie Bag”. I bought chicken essence, 洋参, nuts, snacks… Brain food and comfort food. Things that I think he’ll appreciate during his long revision hours.

The plan was to travel down to his place at Jurong West and pass it to him personally. In my mind, the same romantic scene kept replaying. I would surprise him with the gift, he will be ecstatic beyond words and we will both live happily ever after.

But alas, fantasy rarely comes true in reality.

The fact was that, I went there, he didn’t pick up the phone. I waited for 30 minutes. He still didn’t respond. In the end, I gave up and went home. How I came up with the title was because there was a slight drizzle and I was standing in the rain flagging a cab. Felt so pathetic…

The feeling was really hard to bear. You know that you’ve worked so hard to plan this surprise and yet, it didn’t come into fruition. And it had to freaking rain!! Things just couldn’t get worse! Hence the title -  为你我受冷风吹…

Well, to be fair, it wasn’t his fault that the surprise didn’t come through. I could have called his home, I could have walked up to his door and knocked. But I guess I’m just a wimp… Don’t ask me why… I’m just easily paiseh…

I guess the lesson here would be, if you are planning surprises, don’t be disheartened even if it doesn’t succeed. That’s the risk that comes with springing surprises on people. And I’m still willing to take this risk… just to see that priceless expression on their faces!

Post exams, we did manage to revisit the “communication crisis”. And I’m glad to report that we were able to solve the problem minus the emotional outbursts. Staying angry doesn’t help the issue and it creates a wall between the 2 parties. All this could be avoided by managing each other’s expectations.

I expected to still have some form of contact with 星星  during his study week. Be it phone, MSN, gmail chat…

And 星星 expected to be able to study without disturbances, esp at night since he’s most productive then.

I dare say that the next round of exams will not see such drama!